Thailand 2008
This weekend I walked into 7-11 with a gun. A Weapon of mass destruction: Winnie the Pooh. I was fortunate enough to commandeer a massive water gun with a canister to hold extra ammo in the shape of Winnie the Pooh’s face.
I spent the weekend in Chiang Mai, in the northern part of Thailand, for the largest water fight of the year. It was the Songkran festival here, which is a celebration of the Thai New Year. Basically, wherever you go, you will be completely drenched with water for three straight days. It certainly brings a whole new meaning to cultural immersion. I think my hands were like prunes for seven straight hours as we danced in the streets to the techno-logically advanced music which maliciously attacks all unsuspecting eardrums.
I spent the next day recovering and getting slapped by a Thai female prisoner. The Chiang Mai women’s prison has an awesome rehabilitation program. When the prisoners are to be released within 6 months they are taught the art of Thai massage. They are allowed to work in the prison gift shop and massage parlor, open to the public. The money from the massages is put into an account for the woman to have a financial foundation to start her new life when she is released. So, to support the cause, we went for massages, and I spent the hour wondering why she was there.
In case I contract some bizarre and exotic disease from being immersed in less than sanitary street water, I would like to leave my final will and testament:
Brother, you can have my position as the favorite child.
Mom, you can friend all my friends on facebook.
Dad, you can have all my money as payment for emotional damage caused by me comparing you to Phil Donahue in appearance.
Mandy, you can have my bike since yours got stolen off the streets in San Francisco.
